22 Jun GOD 1.0: The Universal OS
Welcome to the GOD 1.0 Tech Support Page. GOD 1.0 is the only operating system you’ll ever need. It’s universal, self-healing and infinitely adaptable. It is available in all languages and functions on all hardware configurations. GOD 1.0 automatically upgrades as needed to keep up with your growth and awareness and is guaranteed to improve your functioning, productivity, quality of life and networking programs from the moment you install it.
While we at GOD 1.0 firmly believe that this operating system is the best and most intuitive OS in the world, we realize that some people may need assistance optimizing their usage. Please browse our troubleshooting FAQ below to find answers to some of the more common problems we’ve run into, or send us a knee-mail letting us know how we can help you optimize your GOD 1.0 package today! Don’t spend another day in the dark – get GOD 1.0 today!
Q. I have installed GOD 1.0 and would like to optimize my usage/connection/settings.
A. Congratulations on attaining the finest operating system in the known Universe. As you may have noticed, GOD 1.0 comes with many built in settings, options and functions, not all of which may have been fully activated when you first installed the system. In many cases, if GOD 1.0 isn’t functioning as promised, the problem is simply that the user doesn’t realize the truly awe-inspiring possibilities that fully integrating the system into their lives can bring, and are thus using GOD 1.0 at less than its maximal capacity.
Please note: contrary to rumor, using the GOD 1.0 OS at full power will not harm your systems. Although it is true that the fully activated OS is extremely powerful and has capabilities far in excess of normal usage parameters, GOD 1.0 has been carefully designed to function safely and smoothly at all levels. Enjoy your new system – and remember to spend some time exploring the hidden files. We’ve included lots of goodies in there for adventuresome users!
Q. I have installed GOD 1.0, but I’m not sure if I’m using it correctly. Does it come with a “readme” file or manual?
A. Absolutely. GOD 1.0 is fully documented by primary-source manuals as well as a vast library of user-written cheat-sheets, usage guides, and work-arounds that can help you get the most out of your system, including dealing with glitches and bugs (although GOD 1.0 itself is free of bugs, some systems may experience issues with conflicting software applications until GOD 1.0 overwrites the bad code).
We strongly suggest that you consult the manual that is appropriate for your socio-cultural platform. These are widely available in nearly all languages and in nearly all deliverability formats: audio, video, textual and through spoken word performances. If your hardware is advanced enough and you are open to receiving on a very high bandwidth, you may even be able to intuit many of your manual’s basic frameworks directly. Visit a local outlet/service center near you for a personal consultation on how you can optimize your system for peak operation.
Q. I had a bad systems crash and now I can’t seem to access GOD 1.0. I know it’s on my system somewhere, but I can’t seem to locate it no matter where I look.
A. A massive systems crash, such as might follow a major life event, a serious illness or a crisis of faith, can make it difficult to relocate the GOD 1.0 OS on your system. DO NOT WORRY! GOD 1.0 is an infinitely regenerating operating system – you cannot damage or lose the GOD 1.0 OS, no matter how complete or long-lasting your crash.
To find and reboot the OS, simply begin a daily search application by finding some quiet time alone to remember what your system was like before the crash. Bring to mind all the times that the GOD 1.0 brought you joy and peace of mind, then use that memory to focus and strengthen your search. The more you think about the system and test out your programs on it, the more it will self-restore until finally the system is up and running like new.
If you are worried that your old GOD 1.0 will not work properly on your new and possibly drastically altered hardware configuration, remember that GOD 1.0 is an infinitely adaptable OS, and that even though it seems like much has changed, your GOD 1.0 was designed to function in all conditions and on all platform configurations.
Q. I have GOD 1.0, but it’s not doing all the things I was told it would do.
A. While the GOD 1.0 OS can, and does, work miracles, the GIGO principle (Garbage In, Garbage Out) still applies. Without the required input, the GOD 1.0 system will not be able to function properly. Reassess your user-end functions and try a different set of behaviors, thought patterns, motives and/or expectation parameters.
Beware of fraudulent or corrupted copies of GOD 1.0. Many of these are unstable and even dangerous to your system. From our research we have determined that the following file extensions may indicate a possible fake or corrupted copy of GOD 1.0 on your hardware:
.greed.power.luv (be careful – the .love file extension is an authentic GOD 1.0 assignment. The .luv extension is a bastardization of .love and is far less stable, with a tendency to fail under stressful conditions).hate.fear
Q. A virus infiltrated my system and now GOD 1.0 is functioning erratically/slowly/haltingly.
A. One common problem that users of the GOD 1.0 system experience involves memetic viruses (false beliefs, misunderstandings, corrupt power sources, etc.) that cause the GOD 1.0 system to operate at less than its full capacity. If you feel that you have encountered one of these powerful viruses and that it is restricting your usage of the GOD 1.0 OS, you have a few options.
You can try to remove the virus yourself by continually running authentic and self-healing GOD 1.0 programs and systems, which will eventually overwrite the bad code. This method is slow, but effective. However, the biggest concern is that in the case of a severe “infection” the user may not be able to tell GOD 1.0 systems from the corrupt versions. See the list of suspect file extensions above to help you with that issue.
A second option is to have a fellow GOD 1.0 user run the overwrite for you from a remote terminal. This method of “intercessory prayer” reformatting has shown good results, providing the two systems are networked strongly enough. However, even if the damaged system’s user is completely unaware of the process and has isolated their systems from outside influence, “intercessory prayer” reformatting can still have a truly remarkable result if kept up for a long enough period of time and in a focused manner. Although we are not entirely sure, this process seems to operate in a manner similar to electrical induction – the energy level of the “pray-er” directly affecting the energy level of the “pray-ee” with no direct connection. As they say, GOD 1.0 does work in mysterious ways.
The third, and most effective, option is to stop in at any of our millions of local outlets for a full re-install of the GOD 1.0 OS. It’s quick, it’s free and it’s very effective.
Q. How can I get GOD 1.0?
A. Getting the GOD 1.0 operating system is as easy as stepping into one of our millions of local outlets and asking for a copy. GOD 1.0 is free and available anywhere its users are found. You do not need to go to an outlet to get a copy, however – just ask any user and they are generally more than happy to share their version. Just be sure to stop by our outlets at some point to ensure that the copy you received does not contain any bugs, alterations or viruses.
Also available at our outlets are free user workshops and classes that can teach you how to get the best out of your system, as well as usergroups that you can join to share the joy and the fun of GOD 1.0 live networking and multiplayer games and projects. Don’t forget to pick up a manual while you’re there!
Q. How can I join the GOD 1.0 family?
A. If you’ve had GOD 1.0 long enough to decide that you would like to join the team, stop by any of our outlets. The users there will be happy to answer all of your questions and offer instructions and advice on how to continue. You’ll probably be asked to reflect on whether you’d prefer to be in sales and marketing, spoken word or other manual format distribution, administrative support services or tech support. But don’t worry – you can always change your mind and try something new whenever you wish.
We thank you for having the vision and faith to try GOD 1.0 and we wish you a long and uplifting experience with your new universal operating system. Please let us know how we can help you. As with all GOD 1.0 users, we are happy to serve!