14 Aug The Need To Be Perfect Can Stop You From Giving Up Smoking
The need to be perfect may seem totally natural and normal; a desirable trait even. And of course, a perfectionist can produce great work, be highly creative or methodical, always strive to do things right, and very much appreciated for it. However, the is a thin dividing line between striving for excellence and a destructive need to be perfect.
So how do you find out where that thin line is drawn? And why do you have to in the first place? The answer is very simple. In my experience helping ex-smokers-to-be, a positive striving for excellence helps drive you to quitting, whereas a negative need to be perfect fuels the smoking addiction.
The need to be perfect may well be the biggest root cause of your smoking. This is because of, but not limited to, the following reasons.
- Nobody is perfect, so trying to be perfect would be to go against nature. And the pressure this creates is so stressful that nicotine is needed to calm this level of stress.
- The unhealthy need to be perfect usually has roots in childhood due to being chastised too much or praised too little by parents, which impacts on self-esteem. Smoking helps give the smoker confidence, as the unhealthy perfectionist keeps feeling inferior according to their expectations formed in childhood.
- The unhealthy need to be perfect may also have roots in childhood or teens due to being bullied or outcast, which impact on self-esteem in social situations. Smoking helps oil the conversation.
- Many people with an unhealthy need for perfection are in a constant battle to remain thin, which is sadly the current social ideal, although this is slowly changing. And what easier way to control the appetite than smoking?
- A person who is unhealthily perfectionist is likely to feel shame and guilt whenever they fall short of their expectations, which is often., since nobody can live up to those expectations. Smoking helps calm those anxious feelings of shame and guilt.
To find out if you have this unhealthy need, simply ask yourself how true this statement is: I always must be perfect.
If there is any truth in this statement whatsoever, then you have just found one big emotional belief that blocks your stop-smoking success. You can now release this belief with energy psychology methods such as EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) or other meridian tapping techniques. And then, you will find giving up smoking an easier process.